Shepard, Commander of Reapers
by ChaoticMistress
Summary: This story deals with Garrus and Shepard dealing with the aftermath of the Reaper invasion. When Garrus hears that they never found Shepard's body he has a hunch that there was more to disappearance than everybody thinks. After all, with a badass like Shepard, how can she possibly be gone?


IMPORTANT A/N: I like to think that the tropical world that the Normandy crash-landed was actually one of the few populated garden worlds that remained relatively unharmed during the Reaper invasion. Unfortunately, however, communications have been blocked off and the world was left with no way to contact or get any news during the reaper war. Luckily, ever with the extranet down, I'd like to think that the people there were still aware of the Reaper invasion. I also like to think that the people there sent a small squad to investigate the crash-landing.

This story deals with Garrus and Shepard dealing with the aftermath of the Reaper invasion. When Garrus hears that they never found Shepard's body he has a hunch that there was more to disappearance than everybody thinks. After all, with a badass like Shepard, how can she possibly be gone?

Post-Control Ending.

* * *

"So, I'm a reaper now."

"No," Harbinger stated simply, before it decided to continue with an explanation. "You are us, and in return, we are you."

"...how the hell does that work?" Shepard questioned, confused beyond comprehension.

"When you chose to control us your consciousness was uploaded into the crucible. It was then converted into data and dispersed throughout a massive electrical shockwave. The resulting energy rewrote all reapers causing us to accept your way of thinking." It said pausing for a brief moment's of time. "You are our consciousness." It stated awkwardly, almost ashamed of what it had to say. "Your word is law amongst us. We are yours to control."

"...wait, so you're telling me that the catalyst was right?" Shepard asked them, the sound of disbelief clearly evident within her tone. "You mean, I can actually _control_ you? That I reside within _all _reapers?" she asked, her tone gradually grew louder with each word she spoke. "How the _hell_ should this even be possible?!" The commander yelled at Harbinger. The commander hoped that it'd be obliged to answer her questions because she was Commander-fucking-Shepard and she demanded some goddamn answers.

"We have already explained this to you." it said, the reaper's voice devoid of all emotion and it appeared unaffected by her harsh tone. "However, we do have some information that may prove to be of some use."

"Okay, let's hear it."

"When you made your decision you should have became the new catalyst, however, the citadel was deemed as inadequate placement."

"And?" Shepard prodded, hoping that the massive reaper before her would have more information than that.

"We were forced to find other options." it deadpanned. Its answer was just as simple as it was vague.

"...and there wasn't any other option that didn't involve me becoming a reaper?"

"No. You are us and-"

"You are me….yeah, I get it. No need to repeat yourself." Shepard interrupted, not having patience to listen to the reaper be repetitive. It was rather ironic, considering that she was known to be a rather patient individual, at least, that was what she was told. "Also excuse me for not understanding. But this really makes no sense."

"We cannot offer any other explanation." it paused, before Harbinger decided to add on. "We have no explanation that will make sense to those of organic nature." it finished, making a reference towards the time when she was still a human.

"Well then. I suppose we can just chalk this up as "space magic," huh?"

She was met only with silence.

"You're not much of a talker are you?" the woman asked, yet again she was met only with silence.

"We...apologize. We were busy discussing matters amongst the others. They wish for you to interface with Reaper Consensus."

_'Was that an apology I just heard?'_ Shepard wondered, astonished over her discovery. _'Who knew that reapers felt sorry?'_

Suddenly, without any warning, a million of voices bombarded her senses. And the darkness around her began to lift, revealing a thousand or so reapers of a variety of sizes. Their massive structures surrounded her on all sides, as their intricate network of cybernetics glowed dimly within the darkened world of Reaper Consensus. Another image began to form beneath her. It was blurry at first. Nothing more than a mess of colors with blotches of color scrambled about, littering the black canvas beneath her. Gradually, however, the image gained more clarity and detail and it soon revealed something that looked similar to the Normandy's galaxy map. The only difference being that it was much larger than what the ship's holographic display could offer.

It was then that she realized that her level of perception was inhuman.

It was difficult to explain her experience; it was almost as if she looked at the world through multiple viewpoints. It was both confusing and...well, _different_. There was honestly no way Shepard could explain it not in a manner that would make sense that is.

She noticed that the voices around her had given way to the low thrumming of a reaper's song. She found that she literally could _feel _them. Their _thoughts, _their _feelings_ and actions as if it were her own yet they were separate from hers. Hell, she could even sense the lingering presence of uncertainty and all because the Reapers had broadcasted it throughout their ominous song. Their strange melody had enveloped her as it resonated throughout her entire being. She found the sensation to be a comfort. The music possessed a soothing effect. But the feeling was far too disorientating for her to fully allow herself to embrace these sensations.

_'God,'_ she thought to herself, feeling a bit overwhelmed over the whole ordeal. _'Is this how the Geth had to live? Being able to feel everybody's thoughts and feelings? Seriously, they're not even _talking _yet I know what each of them are saying!' _Shepard inwardly exclaimed, the woman took more than a minute to process everything that she currently experienced.

The reapers waited patiently, however, which allowed the former commander more than enough time to regain her composure. Shepard tried to wrap her mind over the idea that no she wasn't dead that she wasn't at the bar waiting in heaven. That she would have no way to be together with Garrus and the rest of crew in the afterlife. She was submerged in her own thoughts, she almost allowed herself to forget that she was surrounded by her worst enemies.

Enemies that could destroy entire civilizations.

Shepard heaved out a heavy sigh, as she focused her attention back at them; she took note of their immobile structures. It was almost like the metallic creatures awaited orders.

_Her _orders.

"What are you guys waiting for?" Shepard asked them, only to be met with the oh-so familiar sound of silence. Sighing once again, Shepard raised a hand to rub her temples to ease the pain of an oncoming migraine...only to discover that what should've been a hand was nothing. No hand, no arm, hell she didn't even have a _body_ anymore_._

"So does anybody have any idea what happened to my crew?" Her tone sounded harsher than she originally intended but Shepard didn't have the time or the patience to be kind. "Also, can somebody _please _tell me what happened to my body?!"

One of the smaller reapers decided to raise one of its small tentacle-like appendages in response; the destroyer appearing nervous and tentative. It didn't help with the fact that the reaper was practically radiating giddiness, the synthetic publicly broadcasting its emotions through the odd humming that each reaper produced.

'_Wait…they had emotions?'_ the commander questioned, even more confused than ever.

"This platform was one of the last to retreat from Shepard-Commander's native world. We are the platform responsible for protecting the beam that led to the Citadel." it stated, its voice appeared to be high-pitched and rather squeaky in comparison to its peers. "We had witnessed the entire exchange between you and the catalyst." the reaper paused, before deciding to continue. "We also witnessed the destruction of your body."

Jesus-fucking-Christ. The catalyst was right when it told her that she would lose _everything. _

Shepard was absolutely certain that she was bound to turn renegade any minute now.

As if it noticed its leader's disdain and anger. The reaper brushed lightly against her (don't ask her how that was even possible), the synthetic tugged lightly at her consciousness. The gesture appeared, dare she say, _comforting. _"We apologize that this information has caused you unnecessary distress."

"No. No, it's okay...?"

"This unit goes by the name of Unit: 3124. This unit is also one of the many reapers that your kind calls Destroyers."

"Look, um, Unit: 3124. It's no problem, really." Shepard said, sighing. "Also, we really need to give you a name that's less...well. We just need to give you a new name." the soldier stated, unsure on what to make of the situation or whether or not she should voice the next question out loud. "Err...do reapers have genders? Like, do they consider themselves male or female?"

Yet again, she was met only with silence.

"…thought so. You guys are _so_ talkative."

"We have no sex. We have no need to reproduce like organics. We are of synthetic origin." They said in unison, their voices sounding like an odd symphony of harmonics that made her non-existent ears ring. "We do not refer to one another as 'he' or 'she,' this is an organic sentiment that we do not share. We may, however, adapt to use such pronouns if it will be to your liking."

"To be frank, I really don't care what your kind does. So long as you're off of every goddamned world." She said, her tone blunt. "No offence. But can't you guys be any more synthetic? Even Avina shows more emotion than you."

"By synthetic, do you wish for us to be more 'organic?'" Harbinger added, the large reaper deciding to butt into the conversation she had between the Destroyer.

"I guess." she shrugged, "I'm just confused over how much emotion I'm feeling right now."

'_Not too mention curious over what the fuck is going on with that Destroyer's voice. It sounds almost feminine.'_

"We have no need for such petty sentimental constructs. They are of your people's creation, not ours. We do not feel emotions. It is an organic concept. One that we do not share with you." It replied. It sounded strangely hesitant.

"Then explain the hesitance, Harbinger?"

"We do not know what you speak of, Shepard."

"Just answer the damn question."

It didn't say anything for a long moment, busy coming up with words that would satisfy its new leader. "...we did not feel before you joined us. We felt nothing. We merely did what our programming told us to do. We harvested species because it was what the cycle wanted - what the Catalyst wanted. We merely did what we must." the reaper answered, sounding conflicted by what it told her.

"You mean to tell me you did this because you had a fucking instruction manual telling you what to do? Because the Catalyst told you so?!"

"Yes."

Shepard was just getting pissed now. It was like talking to children. Mind you, these children had lasers and were weapons of mass destruction. "I don't understand! The reapers destroyed countless of races because they were told to? You guys didn't choose for yourselves?"

"Why ask questions that you, yourself, already know?"

"Shut up, Squid-legs, nobody asked you!"

Instead of remaining silent and doing nothing like Shepard expected, the reapers did something she never thought possible. They cowered. They were legitimately afraid of her. This was something that she thought was never possible. They felt fear - and all because of her - because she was angry at them.

Well, good. They should after all the crap they did to the galaxy.

"Look, you know. I know this is confusing for all of us...but can you just tell me what happened to the Normandy and my crew?" she questioned, tired. She didn't have the patience to deal with beings that were as old as time itself but had no idea what emotions felt like. She was enraged but knowing that they were just as confused as her made her slightly - _slightly_, more compassionate towards them. God. She hoped she wasn't getting all motherly with a race that murdered hundreds of thousands of civilizations. Sure. Sure, the commander was (and still is) a patient individual and had the capacity to deal with intergalactic scum like the Illusive Man but she was already near the end of her emotional reserves. However, now wasn't the time to take out her anger and frustration on the Reapers. Not when she didn't know shit on what happened to her people.

This was gonna be one hell of an eternity.

She just wished she had more company than these jackasses.


End file.
